'I am Omer': Former Hamas hostage reflects on surviving 505 harrowing days in captivity

On Oct. 6, 2023, Omer Shem Tov and his family were celebrating his mother's birthday. Less than 24 hours later, Hamas terrorists kidnapped Shem Tov from the Nova Music Festival and held him hostage in Gaza for 505 days. Nearly three years later, Shem Tov is telling his story while trying to regain his sense of self.

In a conversation with Fox News Digital, Shem Tov recalled that when Hamas' attack started at 6:29 a.m. on Oct. 7, 2023, people at the festival took precautions, but were not panicked. He explained that "in Israel, we're very used to it." Thinking that the aerial attack was the only thing coming, festival goers, including Shem Tov and his friends, began packing up and heading to their cars to drive home. However, many of them never made it home and, as in Shem Tov's case, some came back much later.

In his book, "Light From the Darkness," Shem Tov recounts his experience of the attacks and throughout his time as a hostage in Gaza. He also opened up about having taken ecstasy shortly before the attacks began.

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"In my book, I talk about it, first of all, very openly, because I mean I want people to understand that I'm just like any other 20-year-old," Shem Tov told Fox News Digital. "I wanted to party. I wanted to have fun."

Shem Tov explained to Fox News Digital that he felt that the ecstasy, combined with his adrenaline, actually helped him "run faster and without stopping" as the attack began. He said that the feeling disappeared suddenly as terrorists got closer and began firing at him and his friends. Hours after being taken into Gaza, Shem Tov felt the effects again. He said it was "a very scary feeling."

The first 50 days of his captivity were spent in total darkness, in a cage so small he could not stand up or spread out his arms. Shem Tov, who is an asthmatic, said he had trouble breathing in the tiny space and that he was "starved in the most extreme way."

"I was in complete darkness, I couldn't see anything, and I just went crazy," Shem Tov told Fox News Digital, adding that in his mind, he was blaming God and "everyone else" for what had happened. "After a week, I got to a point where I realized that God has created me with the power of free will. I can choose to do whatever I want. I can choose to believe, I can choose not to believe. I can choose between good and bad and evil."

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"I realized that I have two choices: Either I sink into depression and I blame everyone and God for everything that happened to me and I just sink deeper and deeper until eventually I think that I would have just died of depression and broken heart, or either I look at the situation, and I try to make something good in some way out of it," he said.

While in complete darkness, Shem Tov said he was "crying to God" and telling Him, "God, from now on I trust you and I know that I'm in the right place, in the right time. This is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I'm in your hands from now on. Do as you wish, do as you will."

"From that moment on, I just saw light. I really did see light in complete darkness," he added.

While in captivity, Shem Tov faced extreme pressure from his captors, yet he refused to break even under the threat of death. When they ordered him to detonate traps against advancing Defense Forces soldiers, he flatly refused. Even when his captors threatened