Zhamira Zambrano throws one of the worst celebrity first pitches ever, Mayor Frey dancing & Mendoza is ready

As I sit down in the Screencaps lab for yet another edition of this award-winning column, the humidity level is at like 80%, the sun hasn't been out in five days and it's expected to rain all weekend here in Ohio.

What's on the agenda? My dad turned 71 this week, so the plan was to play just northwest of Dayton. Based on the wave of rain that continues to pound that area, that's not going to happen. Have you seen the flooding out in eastern Indiana? Parts of I-70 are buckling due to flooding. Entire roads are washing away.

In other words, dad will have to wait to play birthday golf.

Quick thoughts before the weekend:

• I will be here Sunday for SeanJo. He'll be off the next week. I think he's off to chase Bigfoot.

• Today is a big day around here. Screencaps the III starts 4th grade this morning. His elementary school only goes up to 4th grade, which means we're nine months away from no longer dealing with elementary school pickup lines. It feels like I've spent half of my life in lines just to get the kids.

Will I miss it one day? You guys who've been through this stage of life can feel free to tell me.

PAIGE SPIRANAC SHARES THE ONE THING A GUY HAS TO BE GOOD AT TO DATE HER, TEBOW PLAYS GO-KART SOCCER & THE NFL

• If you're the Raiders, you have to start Fernando Mendoza Week One. No choice. He turns 23 in October. It's not like they selected a 20-year-old who needs to find his footing. This guy is ready to go. Throw him to the wolves.

• Thank you to YouTubeTV for not forcing me to watch the WNBA in multiview like they were doing two years ago. Last night, I had the Bengals, Steelers and Little League baseball on. For this time of year, it was heaven.

• This might be the worst first pitch I've seen out of an Internet pop singer. Zhamira Zambrano is Venezuelan. How did she grow up in baseball-crazed Venezuela, which just won the World Baseball Classic, and not learn to paint the outside corner?

Was this worse than 50 Cent's effort a few years back before a Mets game? Probably not, but Fitty didn't grow up in Venezuela, where I think you're supposed to hit 75 on a radar gun before you're allowed to get a driver's license.

RAIDERS ROOKIE FERNANDO MENDOZA THANKS GOD FOR AN NFL DEBUT THAT COMPARES FAVORABLY TO 'MR BRADY'

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